Lessons on Business Learned the Hard Way

If being in business for five months has taught me anything, it’s that random, unexpected expenses seemingly pop out of thin air.  Being a freelancer or a consultant never yielded these types of miscellaneous fees, but the minute you incorporate? Hello pocketbook, goodbye paycheck.

These types of things, of course, are never things that will be detailed in school courses or business classes. They’re mostly the types of things that are brought up in the middle of the 20th call to an insurance broker at 2pm when you haven’t eaten a drop of food all day.  “Right, we’re all set on the business liability. Errors and omissions coverage? Um, yes, we’ll need that too.  Oh? That’s going to cost three times the annual cost of liability? Excellent. I’ll go update my P&L statement.”

But what can you do besides pulling up a potential leads list and start making phone calls. At least these unforeseen expenses push me to chase after more business. And that’s always a good thing.

Prague. Berlin. Beer.

So, I’m easing into my first week in Europe and I have to say “Why the fuck did I wait so long to come here?” because Europe is awesome.  Here’s a brief rundown of my time so far:

Wednesday (9/1) – Took a red-eye flight to Prague in the Czech Republic.  I sat next to a woman and her husband or boyfriend who were so in love at an (estimated) age of around 40, and it was fantastic seeing two people so happy together.  It started the trip off on a positive note.

Thursday morning (9/2) – Arrived in Prague with nary an idea of where I was going, and realized that I had no cell phone service or internet access.  I found a payphone, but it was broken, so I walked across the street with an Eastern European girl that I met in the airport to use their desk phone.  As luck would have it, the girl never answered and I was unofficially homeless for the night (but not really, as I had money to get a bed in a hostel).  The girl of undisclosed origin offered to let me crash in her room, but I got a weird vibe from her (New York paranoia?) and felt like she may have tried to rob me, so I said “Peace out, beyotch” and hopped on a downtown bus.

On the bus, I heard a guy speaking English, so I kept an eye on him.  It’s that traveling phenomenon where you develop some type of high-tech sonar radar that allows you to pick up frequencies of your native tongue from miles away.  I also met an older couple from Utah who were re-visiting Prague after being here in the 60′s when communism was running rampant.  After getting on the bus and transferring to the subway system, I realized that the English guy was in my train car.  I took this as divine intervention and moseyed my way over to his side of the car to strike up conversation.  Turns out he was traveling from Birmingham, UK and was trying to find his hotel.  Since I had no place to stay, I figured staying nearby or getting a room in his hotel was doable, and I’d have a travel buddy.  To make a long story short, they had erroneously cancelled his room, had no more single room available and offered us a two bedroom suite (with a living room and a fully functioning kitchen) for the price of a single room each.  We took it, traversed the city by foot and retreated to our separate bedrooms in the evening.

Friday (9/3) – I stuffed myself at the full spread buffet breakfast at the hotel, since I wasn’t sure when I was going to have a decent meal again – trying to preserve cash, as I am – and then I bid adieu my British friend and walked to the train station to catch my ride to Berlin.  After arriving in Berlin and realizing again that my phone didn’t work, I got ahold of my friend Henrike and she biked over to meet me at the station.  We dropped my bags off and then walked around her neighborhood, grabbed a quick bite at a Turkish place (which are everywhere here) and sampled a Turkish beer.  We then walked around and saw an outdoor light show/ DJ / dance place in the courtyard of an old brewery and then went home to pass out.

Saturday (9/4) – I woke up refreshed from my train ride and took the train into the city center to check out the main tourist attractions.  I wandered around the Brandenburg Gate, Potsdamer Platz, Checkpoint Charlie, the Holocaust Memorial (which was fucking cool, by the way), another memorial that had pieces of the Berlin Wall and an extensive timeline of the details of the Nazi’s time in power.

I met Henrike back at her apartment that evening and we chilled out for a bit before heading out to the Kreuzberg neighborhood to meet her friend Harm for a drink.  Talking American and German politics while drinking extremely good – and extremely cheap – beers on a picnic table on the street is a pretty great way to spend a Saturday night.  We ended up sitting by a group of young English speakers, which I correctly tagged as being East coasters – turns out they were NYU exchange students.  After we left there, we headed to another bar to have a few more beers, this time of the Bavarian nature.  I was impressed that they sold cans of cashews in the bathroom.  Like a real normal size can of cashews – from a vending machine.  After leaving that bar and getting on the train with a hundred drunk, happy German people (one of my favorite things about Berlin, I think), we headed back to the neighborhood and stopped off for a falafel wrap first.  I ordered in German and sort of held my own in the brief conversation we had about food.  Salat?  Ya!  Afterwards, we went to find cigarettes and a guy grabbed my hand and twirled me around in the street and said to me in English (after Henrike explained to him that I didn’t speak German) “I never do this, because I am Persian, but I have to talk to you.”  It was amusing and it made me laugh.

Sunday (9/5) – Henrike and I are going to the flea market in her neighborhood to check out their wares.  I may buy a jacket since it’s a bit cold here, but I’m not sure.  Afterwards, we are going to the park where the Berlin Wall once stood and listening to an Irish guy named Joe host his weekly outdoor karaoke thing.  I’m looking forward to good times.

Yearnings from the Countryside for a Simpler Life

Being in Montana in a sparsely decorated house with a beautiful porch and a fantastic view has been unbelievably relaxing for me.  I’m getting my work done faster and feel generally less stressed about everything.

I’ve also been doing a lot of reading – both in print form and online – and the one thing that’s been stuck in my head for the past few days is the idea of minimalism.  I’ve always been into the idea of having a beautifully decorated apartment with walls of books and heapfuls of vintage furniture.  But now that I somewhat have that, I don’t care about it all that much.  Travel has become my modus operandi, and the more I get away the more I realize that the shit I own is holding my back.

So I’m going to start getting rid of things.  And I’m going to start making some changes.  I’m not going to purchase that $600 bed that I thought I wanted from Ikea.  I rarely sleep in my bed anyway, and my floor mattress is quite comfortable.  I’m going to sell my leather arm chairs, so that I will have room to sprawl out on my shag carpet rug – which makes me happy.  And the biggest change – and the one that will be the hardest for me – is giving away a vast majority of my books to the kids in my neighborhood.

I’ve had a weird obsession with getting rid of books for as long as I can remember.  I’m not sure what it’s based in, but I collect them like an obsessive old recluse, reluctant to give even the shittiest reads away for fear I’ll want to read them again.  Even though I rarely do.

So once I’m back from my month in Europe, I’m going to sort of my crap and start cleaning out.  Hopefully this will inspire me to live a less cluttered life and will clear my head as well.

Yummy, yummy Cowboys

I’m heading out to Montana to visit a friend in a few weeks, and I’m psyched about it for a few reasons.  One is because I’m well overdue for some mountain/forest/nature time, and two is because visiting Yellowstone National Park is on my “30 Before 30 Bucket List”, so I’ll get to cross something else off.  Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that I get off on crossing out my to-do lists.

Like every trip I take, I have a few goals for this one.  They are as follows:

• Line dance at a cowboy bar (possibly to a Rascal Flatts tune)
• Slow dance with a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat
• Buy a cowboy hat
• Have a whirlwind week-long romance with a cowboy who looks similar to the gentleman above
• Tip a cow (for old time’s sake)
• Sit whimsically on the side of a fence on a cattle ranch wearing a long, billowy flowered dress

This is where I’ll be staying (Note whimsical fence):

Death to Buzz Words!

During my morning web browsing/procrastination session, I stumbled across an Ad Age article that talked about the “Community Manager” positions that are popping up at many large companies and startups – especially in the tech world.  They were discussing what exactly a community manager is/does (marketing) and why its become so popular with many companies.

I don’t really like the term “community manager” because I think its so vague, and in reality, a community manager really isn’t any different from a PR rep.  They do the same things, like make sure that everyone in said community is happy and pleased with the products and customer service of the aforementioned company and try to curb bad PR into a cheery, bright situation.  Essentially, spin.

But it was one commenter’s comment that irked me before I had time to calm my soul with a shot of caffeine.  She basically started listing the requirements that a guest blogger had come up with (and that she clearly agreed with) for a community manager role in the healthcare industry.  The requirements went something like this:

• They have to listen actively and compassionately
• They have to communicate effectively
• Make meaningful connections
• Be genuine

For fuck’s sake, people, can we wean ourselves off the buzz words, please?  Is this a requirement for a job or a relationship? Who, in any type of job, wouldn’t benefit from listening actively and compassionately?  Conversely, who wouldn’t benefit from being an effective communicator?  These, in part, are some of the reasons why I can’t stomach going back into an actual office.  It’s like spending eight hours a day in a self help seminar.

Let’s talk about ACTUAL job descriptions:

• You will write blog posts
• You will link to other people within your industry who you can possibly steal visitors from
• You will update Facebook and Twitter profiles
• You will attend and/or possibly throw networking events for technophiles and social media-philes

Whew.  I don’t know about you, but the brash reality is like a cool breeze whipping through the muggy shitness of the NYC subway stations in the middle of July.  Middle managers, executives and Tracy Flick types, let’s cut the bullshit and call a spade, a spade.  “Communicating effectively” and “actively listening” aren’t requirements for a job, they’re requirements for living in a society with other people.

Lorn. Out.

The Daily Show’s Samantha Bee on Jesus, the Catholic Church and Being a Canadian Flag Waving Socialist

Tonight I took the hour long trek up to the Upper West Side to see my beloved Daily Show correspondent, Samantha Bee, read excerpts from her new book “I Know I Am, But What Are You?”  Surprisingly enough, when she walked onstage we found out she’s a good 8-9 months preggo.  But she’s totally adorable.

Below is an excerpt from her book reading.  Enjoy.

And here are more photos:

American Based Airlines Could Take a Page Out of AeroMexico’s Playbook

Airline food has long been known to suck some serious ass when it comes to portion size and quality.  With that said, I have to seriously reconsider my stance on airline food and general hospitality after flying Avianca Aerolineas and AeroMexico.  These airlines must be run by Latin American grandmas because their food was frankly “da bomb”.

A rundown of the awesomeness of these airlines:

Avianca had a pretty good breakfast – Southwestern omlet with sausage and a croissant with butter, served with coffee, water and juice.  Not one of the three, but all of them.

For dinner, Aviance served chicken with rice, roll with butter and a cheese spread, a salad with olives and carrots, cake and choice of alcoholic beverage (I chose a Quilmes beer) and an after dinner coffee.

These are pretty good meals, but AeroMexico blew them straight out of the water with their dining options.

I flew evenings with both of their flights, so I only got to sample their dinners, but they were still amazing.

The first dinner was some sort of tender beef loin thing with rice, pasta salad, roll with butter and queso untable (which I had never had before, but am now addicted to), cheese crackers and bread pudding with a dulce de leche sauce – not kidding.  To make a kick ass meal even better, they came around with the beverage cart with included every kind of beer, wine and hard liquor imaginable.  There are no words to explain how happy I was that there was free liquor available to all.  Take that first class assholes!  While we were eating, one of the stewardesses came around and poured people second drinks – on the house, of course.  We finished off with a piping hot cup of joe.

The second dinner was even more fantabulous.  We had pasta in a cream sauce, side salad with dressing, bread with more queso untable, cracker peanuts dusted in lemon juice (soo good) and a white cake with a lime frosting.  Again, more hard liquor and wine to drink, followed by a delicious cup of coffee.

And then – a stewardess came through the aisles and poured people a shot of tequila.  I fucking swear to god.  I have never not wanted a flight to end – not until that moment.  I could have kissed that stewardess.

AeroMexico, you rock my face off.  And I love you.

10 Hours Into Travel, and I’m Already Banned from Entering Colombia – This May Be a New Record

After five and a half hours of flying next to a chatty Romanian who explained – in detail – the intricacies of engineering a database that formulates evacuation routes for the National Weather Service, I was really looking forward to stretching out my legs and checking out the sights in Bogota.

Then, Blammo!  After waiting 45 minutes in line for the customs desk, I get taken aside by a rough looking military regalia wearing Colombian and told I cannot leave the airport and must stay here until my flight leaves for Buenos Aires.  Nine. Hours. Later.

Needless to say, I’m not all that chipper at the moment.  Even the delicious coffee they served me (and holy hell, it was good) will not improve my mood.

My therapy is, of course, to vent about it via blogging.  You’re welcome, baby birds. 

**On a side note, I have not slept since 10am yesterday.  I am so tired, I think I may have given myself an ear infection.  It’s sort of throbbing.  But just the right one.  My ear, that is.

Tags: bogota, budget travel, colombia, south america travel, travel

Preparing for Two Weeks of South American Travel

Leave it to me to start planning the itinerary of my trip the day before my flight.  But I’m not a big planner, and most of the time my travel research includes a few Google searches, a look at Matador and a quick glance at Trip Advisor.

So, at this point, the farthest I’ve come to planning my trip is to head out of the El Dorado Interational Airport in Bogota, Columbia tomorrow for a 9 hour adventure during my layover to Buenos Aires.  I’m planning on taking the tram up to the Cerro de Monserratte to start.  And then walking down the mountain to hang out in the La Candelaria area of Bogota, visiting the Museo del Oro and a few other places before heading back to the airport for my 10pm flight.  I just read about the underground cathedral outside of Bogota, and that sounds amazing, but I don’t think I’ll have time to make it out there as I’ve heard it’s an hour outside of the city.

If anyone has any ideas for things to do in Bogota during my brief stay there, they’d be much appreciated.

As far as my plan for the next two weeks goes, I’ve sketched out a rough outline of places I’d like to go:

Tuesday – Thursday: Hang out in B.A. (I’ll be staying in San Telmo, so hopefully I’ll meet some cool people to hang out with and maybe attend an asado (bbq!)

Friday – Sunday: Take the ferry to Colonia, Uruguay to hang out and then travel over to Montevideo to meet up with some Couchsurfers.

Monday and Tuesday: Spend more time in B.A.

Wednesday – Sunday: Take an overnight bus from B.A. to Mendoza, and then another bus to Santiago, Chile – straight through the Andes.

Sunday evening: Back in B.A. for an insanely early flight on Monday morning.

I’ll be posting tidbits, photos and videos throughout the next few weeks, so if you’d like to ocassionally check in, feel free.  And if you have any comments or suggestions on places to see, visit or eat, please post!

Besos!

L

PR Grievances From a Writer Who’s Had it Up to “Here”.

Public relations professionals the world over:  hear this.  I realize this has been said a million times over, but if people didn’t keep making these same mistakes over and over again, they wouldn’t have to be.

After putting out yet another HARO inquiry for a Mother’s Day Gift Guide with very specific requirements, my inbox was yet again flooded with tons of craptacular pitches that had absolutely zero to do with my story.  Here are a few tips to help guide you to a better pitch and – more importantly – an improved relationship with journalists.

1.  NO CAPS

I CANNOT READ A PRESS RELEASE THAT IS SINGLE SPACED AND TYPED LIKE THIS.  I stare at a computer screen for a good 10-12 hours a day, and moreso, who writes like this?  Are you a 14 year old on Myspace?  Probably not, so please, use correct internet etiquette and type the way a normal adult would speak.

2.  Make Sure Your Product Fits the Guidelines

Please, please please, if I ask for a gift that is $10 or under, do not send me a pitch for a product that costs $22.99.  I submit guidelines for a reason.  That reason is that $10 was the limit that my editor gave me when assigning the story.  Wading through tens – if not hundreds – of emails that are not applicable to what I’m writing about wastes my time and makes me hate you, which subsequently makes me block your emails in my inbox and flag you as spam.

3.  Make Sure Your Product is Actually In Stock

This seems like it would be pretty self-explanatory, but in reality I get pitches all the time from publicists who are representing products that actually haven’t made it to market yet.  If I’m suggesting something for people to purchase for a holiday that is less than a week away, they need to be able to actually purchase it.  Surprising, right?

4.  Learn How to Use Hyperlinks

I realize you may be writing to me or responding to a query in a rush, but I’m in a rush too.  And when I have to Google a product, it’s time consuming and frustrating — especially when it doesn’t show up on the first page of Google.  When submitting a release, highlight the company name and link it to the company website.  You’ll save us all time and I’ll be more willing to look at your releases in the future.

And while you’re at it, include a direct link to where consumers can purchase the actual product.  This is infinitely helpful when dealing with companies who sell indirectly to consumers through other stores.  I write for an online audience, so I don’t want to be told that I can purchase a product at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s.  What I want is a direct link to a product’s selling page.  It’s easier for me and it’s better for your client, as more readers are apt to buy something on a whim rather than writing it down and remembering to look for it in a brick and mortar store a week or two later.

So there you go, four quick tips to make all of our lives a bit easier.

Tags: pr tips, writing a press release